Coercion is the threat of violence in an attempt to control. Things like:
- "If you ever do that again, I'll beat you to a pulp."
- "I'll beat you till you can't walk straight."
- "Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
- "Just wait till your dad gets home, he is going to really be angry."
- "Would you like a spanking (beating)?, Get over here right now."
- "Sometimes I wish you were dead. I hate you. I wished I'd never had kids. I wished I'd never had you."
The use of threat or destructive bargaining is also a part of coercion. A terrorist uses coercion to control situations with some intended goal in mind. And just like the terrorist, the abuser destructively controls with an intended goal in mind. The goal is to "feel better." Abusers who have a dependency relationship with their children control their fears by controlling their children. Children of abusers who are controlled by the use of coercion, grow up terrorized and not feeling safe.
The emotional effects of coercion are more damaging to a child than to a child who has been beaten. A child growing up in coercion will always be wishing for something bad to happen in order for them to relieve their anxiety of waiting for something bad to happen. Even as adults, these victims expect to be punished for minor infractions and pace the floor waiting and suffering, thinking they can't feel better until they get their "just deserts".
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