From www.aardvarc.org

Symptoms: Indicators of Abusive Relationships

Using Emotional Abuse
  • Putting you down
  • Making you feel bad about yourself
  • Calling you names
  • Making you think you're crazy
  • Playing mind games
  • Humiliating you
  • Making you feel guilty

Using Privilege

  • Treating you like a servant
  • Making all the big decisions
  • Acting like the "Master"
  • Being the one to define roles
  • Making you unimportant
  • Punishment for not "obeying"
  • Ordering you around

Using Economic Abuse

  • Preventing you from getting a job
  • Making you ask for money
  • Giving you an allowance
  • Taking your money
  • Secretive about income
Using Coercion and Threats

  • Making or carrying out threats
  • Threatening to leave, to commit suicide, to report you to welfare
  • Making you drop charges
  • Making you do illegal things
Using Intimidation

  • Making you afraid
    (looks, gestures, actions)
  • Smashing things
  • Abusing Pets
  • Displaying Weapons
  • Threatening to expose your "weakness"
  • Threatening to "tell"
Using Children

  • Making you feel guilty about the children
  • Using the children to relay messages
  • Using visitation to harass you
  • Threatening to take the children
  • Threatening to hurt you through them
Using Isolation

  • Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, what you read, & where you go
  • Limiting your outside involvement
  • Using jealousy to justify actions
  • Destroying your support system
Minimizing, Denying, Blaming

  • Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously
  • Saying the abuse didn't happen
  • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior