DANGER! Separation Violence

Many, perhaps most, people believe that the victim will be safe once they separate from the batterer. They also believe that victims are free to leave abusers at any time. However, leaving does not usually put an end to the violence. Batterers may, in fact, escalate their violence to coerce a victim into reconciliation or to retaliate for the perceived rejection or abandonment. Those who believe they are entitled to relationship with their victim or that they "own" their partner, view the victim's departure as an ultimate betrayal which justifies retaliation. (Saudners & Browne, 1990; Dutton, 1988; Bernard el at, 1982)

Evidence of the gravity of separation violence is overwhelming.

Battered women seek medical attention for injuries sustained as a consequence of domestic violence significantly more often after separation than during cohabitation; about 75% of the visits to emergency rooms by battered women occur after separation (Stark and Flitcraft, 1988).

About 75% of the calls to law enforcement for intervention and assistance in domestic violence occur after separation from batterers. One study revealed that half of the homicides of female spouses and partners were committed by men after separation from batterers (Barbara Hart, Remarks to the Task Force on Child Abuse and Neglect, April 1992)

Because leaving may be dangerous--dangerous from the point that the batterer learns that the relationship may end --does not mean that the victim should say. Cohabiting with the batterer is highly dangerous both as violence usually increases in frequency and severity over time and as a batterer may engage in preemptive strikes, fearing abandonment or anticipating separation even before the victim reaches such a decision. Although leaving may pose additional hazards, at least in the short run, the research data demonstrates that ultimately victims can best achieve safety and freedom apart from the batterer.

Leaving will require strategic planning and legal intervention to avert separation violence and to safeguard victims and their children. Work on your safety plan!