A basic tenent of criminology is that three factors must be in place for a crime to occur: First, there must be a perpetrator. Second, there must be a victim or target; and third, there must be the opportunity for a meeting of perpetrator and victim or a place or method to facilitate the commission of the crime. Since any given person could potentially be either a perpetrator OR a victim, prudence suggests that the approach to reduce victimization is to lessen the opportunities for perpetrators to commit crimes against us.
These precautions are suggestions for minimizing your chances of being sexually assaulted. By reducing the opportunity for crime in your home, car and on the street, you reduce the risk of being attacked. Sexual assaults can and do occur in conjunction with other crimes such as burglary. The more effective preventative measures and other common sense precautions you take, the lower your chance of becoming a victim of ANY crime.
SAFETY IN YOUR HOME
- All exterior doors should be made of solid wood core.
- Use good quality deadbolt locks on all exterior doors, including the door from the garage to the house.
- Have the locks on all exterior doors re-keyed when you move into a new house or apartment or when roommates or other persons with access to your home are no longer welcome.
- Keep your garage door shut when not in use. Remember that your garage remote is also a key of sorts. Remember to re-code your remote and opener to prevent unauthorized access. Do this NOW - if you keep your remote on the default setting, anyone can open your garage door by simply buying a replacement opener! Change the code again if you have persons who are no longer welcome in your home. Your local police department, sheriff's office, crime prevention organization, or hardware store can help with this.
- Install a peephole viewer with a minimum 180 degree viewing angle to the front door and get in the habit of checking it BEFORE you open the door...EVERY TIME - get in the habit.
- Install key locks to secure sliding glass doors.
- Good lighting is a deterrant to crime. Install adequate exterior lighting at all entrances.
- Don't open your door to strangers. Never let anyone into your house to use the phone, even for an emergency. Offer to make the call for them, but don't let them inside. You are always better safe than sorry here so don't hesitate to call the police for assistance.
- Request identification from all repairmen and maintenance persons. You can even request identification from people claiming to be police officers. The police will NOT think you are crazy if you dial 911 to find out if the cop at your door is really a cop (I should know, I used to answer those 911 calls!). Impersonating an officer is a common ruse used by perpetrators to gain entry into a victim's home. If you don't see the police vehicle through the peephole, or if the visitor says they are a private investigator or plain clothes detective, call to find out.
- Don't advertise that you are home alone. Keep a light on in more than one room to make it appear that you may not be alone. Remember, most rapists and burglars are opportunists.
- Never keep extra keys hidden outside your home. Perpetrators know all the best spots. Give extra keys to a trusted neighbor and always notify them if you have someone that will need the key in advance.
- Contact your local police department or sheriffs office. Most departments will happily give you a free home security survey.
SAFETY WHILE DRIVING AND IN YOUR CAR
- Park in well lit areas.
- Always lock your car, whether you are inside or the car is parked.
- Have your keys in your hand when heading to your car and stay alert of your surroundings while aproaching your car.
- If working late, try to go to your car in the company of a friend or security guard. If this is not possible, try to move your vehicle close to the office before sunset.
- Get in the habit of looking inside your car and the back seat before you get into the vehicle.
- If you have car trouble, raise your hood and put on your emergency flashers. Wait for help inside the car with the doors locked. If possible, try to pull into a well lit area or under a street light.
- If you're thinking about stopping to help someone else on the side of the road, remember that you should go to the nearest phone and call the police to assist them. They get faster service from the towing companies than you ever will.
- Don't pull over for flashing headlights. If it is an emergency vehicle there will be red and/or blue flashing lights on top of the car. Even during a legitimate traffic stop, always pull into a well lit area that is visible from the road.
SAFETY ON THE STREET & OUT IN PUBLIC
- Always be alert and aware.
- If you are being harassed by someone, always head towards lights or people.
- If you think you are being followed, DO NOT GO HOME. Head for a well lit area, a crowded area or your nearest police department.
- Don't hitchhike.
- If something doesn't feel right, TRUST YOUR FEELINGS. Don't feel pressured to "go along". It's ok to wait for the next elevator, or take another cab, or whatever if someone's presence makes you uneasy.
- If you use laudromats, plan to go with a neighbor or friend.
- Take SPECIAL precautions when traveling, remember, rapists are opportunists, and tourists generally have a more relaxed posture concerning their safety.
SAFETY WITH FRIENDS & IN RELATIONSHIPS
- First, understand that the majority of sex-related crimes are committed by someone the victim knows! Second, be aware that the victim's home is the most common location (other than the offender's home) for sexual assault to occur. Your home should NOT be the first place where you meet someone alone, like for a first date.
- When out at clubs or bars, always keep your drink in your hand. If you must leave your drink, order a fresh one when you get back. Leaving a drink unattended opens the door for date-rape drugs to find their way into your system.
- It is particularly important to be with people that you know and can trust if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
- Be honest with your friends and acquaintences. When you mean "NO", be sure that not only your voice, but your body language or non-verbal actions or postures are saying "NO".
May I Kiss You? A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault
Over the past decade, students, parents, educators, and professionals were asking me to write a book that teaches people how to eliminate the confusion and awkwardness associated with dating and intimacy. People were searching for a new approach that would provide more respect for both parties on the date. In doing so, no one would have to play "games" with each other. You would eliminate the need to rely on body language (which often leads to confusion and can lead to trouble). At the same, people were struggling to understand how a typical date with a "nice" couple could result in a sexual assault. May I Kiss You? was written to fill all these needs in both a creative and thought-provoking manner.